Hi. My name is
Whitney Van Matre. My life is sweet, but imperfect. I was made a mommy through
the gift of adoption. Feast your eyes on my fearfully and wonderfully made
Kennedy Van Matre. He
is 35lbs of toddler cuteness and sass. He is our best "yes" and our greatest
adventure.
I am married to my
best friend and love Jordan Van Matre. I am 5’1” and he is 6’2”. I am brunette
and he is blonde. I am bothered by dishes in the sink, while he is bothered
when I fail to close the caps on my contact case. I like a good comedy movie, while
he loves deep, complex, and thought provoking dramas (Jordan wrote that part).
My quirks involve an unhealthy obsession with coffee, a love for queso and salsa, and my desire to talk by text more than by a phone call.
(I am so thankful for my friends who hate this but love me anyway). Jordan’s
quirks involve a supernatural ability to drink a beverage before I can unwrap
my straw, an insatiable desire to learn and Google any random “why do they call
it a ‘milk dud’?” sort of question, and is an amazing, on point “giff-er”. I
like coffee with creamer and he likes black coffee. I like to sit and read on
the beach while he likes a pick up game of beach volleyball. We are so
different, and at the same time, so alike.
We both love Jesus
because He is our greatest hope. We both value family because they are a constant source of love and support. We understand and are grateful for our friends…our tribe…our
village who love us at our best and give us grace at our worst. We both enjoy a
summer evening walk with Kennedy or a fall morning with a hot cup of coffee on
the porch. We both aspire to be fit but really love Mexican food.
………………………………………………………………………………………
We both grieved our
struggle to conceive.
We both shed tears
(sometimes screams) month after month as infertility refused to yield to our
heart’s desire.
We both felt discomfort
and vulnerability through testing and treatment.
We both felt both hope and fear during IUIs 1, 2, and 3.
We were both
devastated when we learned that IUIs 1, 2, and 3 all failed.
We both felt comfort,
and in some ways healing, in sharing our story with the world.
We both have a
calling to love the silent sufferers who are similarly living through the pain
of infertility.
……………………………………………………………………………………….
We both felt the very
clear calling from the Lord to adopt.
We both feared our
ability to afford adoption.
We were both amazed how
the Lord provided through the financial donations of others.
We both experienced highs
and lows through the entire adoption process.
We both experienced
the greatest joy we’ve ever known when we met our beautiful son.
We both marveled at
the sacrifice of a birth mom who gave us our greatest treasure.
Hidden layers of our hearts
healed through Kennedy’s adoption.
We both immediately felt
the anthem of adoption unlock as ours to carry.
We both felt
compelled to love those who, in the sways of adoption, share in uncertainty and
excitement.
We both feel called
to adopt again.
……………………………………………………………………………….
We both celebrated
when we found out we were pregnant just 6 months after Kennedy was born.
We were both
terrified when, at 6 weeks, I began to bleed.
We were both shaking
when we checked in at the ER.
We both wept as the
doctor delivered the news.
We both mourned the
loss of our second child.
We both see Jesus’
ultimate plan and provision in our son’s eyes and had to peel back some of
those layers that had healed and begin healing them in a different way.
……………………………………………………………………………..
We were both
concerned when I started having more pain from endometriosis.
We were both surprised
when God pivoted our plans after surgery was ordered for me.
We were surprised
that my OBGYN recommended fertility treatment or birth control following this
surgery and that hard decisions would have to be made.
We were both scared
when I went into surgery unsure of the outcome.
We were both relieved
to learn I still had both ovaries and less endometriosis.
We both want to grow
our family.
We both want to adopt
again.
We both want to some
day have biological children.
So, we will walk in
obedience toward both.
P L E A S E P R A Y
1.
Pray for wisdom as we will see a new fertility
specialist on August 7th (our 7th wedding anniversary). Pray that we will know if the doctor is the right doctor to walk
us through this next season. Pray for wisdom as we continue to learn more about
treatment and next steps. Pray that Jesus would be honored in our decisions at
each turn.
2.
Pray for wisdom as we pray through our desire to
adopt. We hear “both” over and over again so we are researching the cost,
timing, and options we have to actively pursue another adoption.
3.
Pray that Jordan and I would continue to
surrender our plan and our desire to control everything about this next season
to watch God’s goodness…even if His goodness means a “no” or “not now”.
4.
Pray for other couples going through
infertility, adoption, or miscarriage. This stuff is deep and it is raw. Pray
that Jordan and I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and be used with the
purest of motives to be the hope and light of Jesus in a dark world.
